Day 7 in Hospital

May 21st


Sayaka came
During her lunch break
With Haagen-Dazs Ice Cream
One for me, one for her.


Sweet radiance fills the room
Her short hair
Smell of the beginning of summer


Two of us, girls talk.
Talk- talk
Our May and December friendship
Never runs short of what to talk about.


Life is unpredictable
Sometimes high
Sometimes low


With winning smile
Girls move on.
We've got guts
And girls get to talk


2 o'clock in the afternoon
Suddenly I felt a warning sign in the throat.
Not now … not now


Matsumoto Producer knocked the door
With a bag full of goodies and a big open smile
Just as she did after the Earthquake.


She rushed over and filled the fridge with sweets, fruits and yogurt.
She was the life saver of my shaken soul that night.


Today, she again brought her healing smile to me.
She is so easy to talk to.


Then, a fit of cough cut into the hospital room
I can't say what I really want to tell.
I can't ask what I really want to know.


On the final take
I wonder if I could say properly
My Goodbyes.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J.Ujiie

Day 6 in Hospital

In crown of my head
Dull pain resides

Yes
Since last night
Lung function test
Has been going on.

Entangled by cords
My body lies
With oxygen in nostrils.

Too much oxygen
Too much carbon dioxide
Either in blood
Could cause the headache.

Drawing blood from a vein
Drawing blood from an artery
To check blood oxygen level and
Carbon dioxide level.

On my inner thigh,
Dr. Sunagawa
Was feeling for an artery

Where pulses are felt
An artery is beneath.

Feeling the throbbing under his finger,
He went for it.
The blood flows fast through an artery

“The early summer rains gathering into swift flows, Mogami River.”
As Basho says.
It was surprisingly quick.

Dr. Sunagawa
Attaboy
Thank you very much.

11 AM
From the Office of Health and Welfare of Minato-ku municipal government
Mr. Shintani came
To Review my condition
To upgrade from class 4 to class 5 disability.
Serious interview with a warm smile.

The hospital has given its seal of approval
That I am in need of 24 hr care.
As likely as not
I will be certified as class 5, the highest grade.

To be honest,
While necessary
I don’t wish to
Be in need of care.

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
I wish I could earn my bread
by the sweat of my brow.

Longing for Sunday
Obon Holiday
A New Year Holiday
I wish I could be feeling busy.
I wish I could be having fun.

Around this time last year
At Niwano Hotel
Eggplants from Kumamoto I had
Were sweet.

Around this time last year
I was taking classes to learn politics.
I devoted myself
To reinvent Japan.
I meant it, seriously.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

Day 5 in Hospital

Azabu Juban, my domicile of choice,
MAMA had chosen to leave for the life
On the Lake Biwa.


MAMA came.
She looked younger
In navy blue suits
With her shoulder bag.
40 years of managing an exclusive hostess club
In Ginza as mama-san surely
Has given her a presence.


A chance encounter led to 30 years of our friendship
Never too close, never too far.


Looking for a pet friendly apartment,
To Meguro
To Ebisu
We walked miles and miles.


A super exclusive traditional ryoutei,
In undercover mission
As a kimono-clad waitress
Just like an espionage novel.


Even an Arab tycoon
Was a human being.


We walked with her Chihuahua, Pal
Across the Rainbow Bridge.
You gave me a gift of numerous memories
I will never let go of.


Light was turned off
With red and yellow cords
Twining around my body
Pulmonary function test
(Spirometry)


While asleep
Blood oxygen level dropped
To 86%
I was put on oxygen.


In the nostrils
I felt a soft breeze
Oxygen?
It was odorless.


White coat
Came in sight
Is it a sleeve of …


I slipped into a deep valley of
Dream of
Azabu Juban
My home.


When can I
Come home
To the valley of memories
Where my heart resides?

By Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J.Ujiie

Day 4 in Hospital

Sis and my caseworker Kikuchi-san
Would meet at Osaki Station
To go and take a look at a nursing home.
Wheels have started to turn with or without me.


Naoko came
During her lunch break.
In the hospital room,
We had a lunch together just as
We always had.


Sharing a meal brought us
Laughter
Sharing laughter brought us
A joy.


Today I am a crybaby
Crying at anything
Like a young girl I once was.


Cared and loved by
Everybody,
A blessed life I have.


Calls and messages
I got from you.
Sorry, no talking on phone in the hospital room.
I wish I could talk
To you all in the Earthquake stricken area.


I wish I were well and
I could be there with you
To walk side by side
To witness the rebirth of Minami Sanriku, Japan.
My heart aches for.


Who do you want to be
When you reincarnate
Again?
A simple but
difficult question.


Kochi-Rumi-Mari-Yuri-Naoko
Thank you for the wheel of mail.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

Day 3 in Hospital

An IV Needle
In my arm
With a bag of formulas left hanging in air for tomorrow
Only the needle remains, disconnected.


Tingling and numbing sensation
Constantly reminds me to
Keep my arm straight.


Dr. Sunagawa, I beg you to
Remove it
It aches and hurts.


I finish up all the meal and
You take the needle out.
Quid pro quo
Right on!


I went for it to eat up
Soft cooked rice
Clear soup
Almond crusted spanish mackerel
With red leaf lettuce
Turnip with deep-fried bean curd


My caseworker Kikuchi-san
Came to discuss with my family
Placement in care facilities.
My destination could be
A small room in a nursing home
On the edge of nowhere
Where a Requiem plays.


I was transferred
From the ward on 5th floor to the 7th floor.


Through the window I could see
The Tokyo Tower
Toranomon Mori Building No.37
Hotel Okura
Buildings subject to screening for budget cut.


The view from the window
Enticed me to ponder on
Stock market
Global economy
Hang in there, Japan!


For one test after another
Had blood drawn from a vein
My arm is covered with bandages.
Chest and Abdominal X-Ray taken.


Meeting between the chief physician and my family
Suggests the ever seriousness of my condition


The light of the Tokyo Tower was turned off
The star I will become someday
I can’t see tonight.

Poem by Maria franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

Day 2 in Hospital

In a plastic bag
Moist warmth of caring
Here is the toiletry kit for you
I heard the nurse.


With moist gauze
I wiped my
Forehead
Neck and
Cheeks.


I wiped around my eyes
And woke up fully to hear
A door bang
Siren wail
Gurneys roll
Shallow breath, short breath, rapid breath.


My heart on an EKG
Since last night
Monitored once,
Twice and many more times.
My pulse pounding.


My heartbeat speaks for
My voiceless body.
What do you want to tell me?
Listening hard to the whisper of heart
I couldn’t hear the words.


In the Afternoon
Mother and
My two sisters came.


Mom
In tears


I
Am
Sorry.
I wish I could heal myself.
I wish I were not beaten down like this.


With the right hand spared for now,
I stroked my mother.
Mom stroked my immobilized legs
Over and over.


In the same way
She stroked me when I was a child
Either when I got a 33 or a 5 on an exam
She stroked me gently
With the same hands.


Inari sushi and Tamagoyaki eggs
My sister made
So delish for
Our picnic in the hospital room.


The glow of the sunset,
The melody of a children’s song
Playing in the evening air
Signaled the end of our picnic.


Left by myself
On bed
Sweaty
I was made aware again
That I would not walk again, ever.


Poem by Maria Franki
Edited and translatec by J. Ujiie

Ambulance

A morning shower I take a delight in
I didn’t take this morning.
With the heart pounding too fast
I felt tightness
In the chest.


My heart is pounding.
My breath is short.
Pounding that could be foretelling
Weakening of respiratory muscles.


It could be just
A side effect of medications
I hope
I wish.


When chest wall muscles fail and
The diaphragm fails to move
Up and down,
Breathing stops.


An asthma attack or
Weakening of muscles?
Flying low with both wings impaired
I am going down
Flying out of control.


Dr. Okabe came.
My sister pressed,
“Give her a drip.”
Dr. Okabe said,
“I’ll be back with it.”


To provide nourishment to me,
Who couldn’t eat, Dr. Okabe
Shuttled back and forth and
Made triple house calls.
An IV needle was inserted in my arm
Gently nutritional formulas flowed in
Infused with life force.


Drip drip goes the IV fluid
Looking up I saw the blue sky
I long for the blue sky.


The IV was removed
Recurring attack of asthma
Relentless
My suffering ever worsening.


For emergency hospitalization, an ambulance was called.
New development
Change of clothes, towels and a toiletry kit
Were packed in a bag.


With the familiar wailing of
An ambulance siren
EMTs opened the door.


The siren wailed through the night sky
I’m on an ambulance
The gurney rattled to
ER
The clock on the ambulance said 20:40


I V Steroid
Oxygen administration
EKG Monitor
Chest X-Ray
Drawing blood from a vein
Drawing blood from an artery at the top of the thigh.


At midnight, the ER was brightly lit.
I would never have known.
My Immobile body was resigned
To the brightness of surgical lights.


I was Moved From ER treatment room to
Co-ed ICU.
Some Groaning
Others Snoring
All kinds of patients


As I became one of the “all kinds”
A long night began.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie