I was Supposed to Return to Work

I rather played it safe. I deciced this morning. 
I could have if I pushed myself.
But I didn't want to develop a fever again.
I never want to come down with a fever, ever.  Who does?


Rrrrrr Rrrrrr the phone rang.
Naoko was coming over during her lunch break
In company with the film crew.
They were ready to shoot my returning to work.


The lunch was on camera.
It's rolling and rolling.
Bed room, kitchen, bathroom... Privacy ptotection is off for now.


How do you capture the life beling lived here?
How do you capture the truth of my heart?
How do you capture the pathos of pathology?
How do you capture the feelings buried under?
What color do my tears appear on film?
I dare you to document and tell the story of my illness and the story of my heart.


Ms. Grasshopper,
Thank you for placing things within my reach
For an immobile motor-mouth as I am.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011