To Work or Not to Work

February 24

The alarm went off.
The Moldau plays every five minutes.
I have to wake up.  I'm looking up at the ceiling.

Roll and roll over I want to.
My immobile body remains almost in the same position as it was last night.
I pulled the fabric of pajamas to tuck in my legs
Like a baby.

The third Moldau stated.
If I go back to sleep like a baby
I can get away from the suffering of standing up.

The morning shower I loved when I was healthy,
I hesitate to take now.
I can not lift my arms.  I can not stand firmly.
I can not shampoo my hair right.
I stare up at the ceiling, wondering.
The baby is thinking about living.

I forced myself to move a little.
I can't move a lot, but I can move a little.
oops a daisy,  I hold on to the head of the bed
and twisted my body up.
Oops a daisy, Up I am.

I opened the curtains and
Took a break
I took a shower and
Took a break.
The time is running out.
MAMA came to pick me up
Half past eleven.
I can go to work today!

I am full of drive to work.
What can I do with my immobile body?
There is the dichotomy between the two.

Is it better for one with an immobile body to stop working?
Is it better for one with drive to continue working?
I don't know.  I really don't know.

For a little longer, I will live like the water flowing the Moldau.
The stream runs through the forest, down the hill, and widen the river, creating the landscape of the homeland.

I came home with Naoko Ma and Maho.
We decided to go to have dinner at the Yellow Ox,
Friendly Korean moms ran.
For the first time, they came out of the kitchen.

On the night wind, the wheelchair moved flowing
I've done today's job.
The river of Moldau keep on running.
Oops a daisy, again tomorrow
I'll do my best.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011