On a Dot in the Universe

April 2nd

The Saturday flowed by.
5 visits of home care provider a day.
Loss of my rhythm of living is
One of the reasons of lack of sleep.
The other reason is not being able to roll over.
Only after an hour of sleep
I wake up every time to
Find myself in the same position before I fell asleep.
I am dead weight.
I wish I could roll over and over...

Chained to the dead weight, I hold the fabric of PJ and tried to pull my leg up.
I pulled and pulled and the leg wouldn't move.
I gave up.
I settled with moving one leg, and fell back into sleep.
The other leg had to live with it.
In a strange pose...

Ms. Grasshopper came
With the medical reports to take to the Colombia Medical School,
Adding this and that to be sure.
It brought my helplessness to home
Not to be able to do such small task.
Miserable I felt.

Dr. Okabe came for house call.
I get always encouraged to believe in
The miracle to "stay alive.'
It's not a medical art, rather a healing art.
The fate has brought him to me.

Tomorrow I will start to take Rilutek.
Rilutek manufactured by Sanofi Aventis
They split one pill into two for Japanese patient.

Why one not two?  I feel two would work much better.
Well, I'll take two from tomorrow.
I won't give up.

19:00
Yuka came
We were together for dinner.
Fried fish patty from Niigata with
A fluffy and elastic texture, delicious
Pared with sparkling wine.
A toast to celebrate this day.

I don't hesitate to ask Yuka for help.
Thank you, Yuka.
She catches my intent in the heart,
Sets me free from stress,
And it brought me to near tears
I held back.

You have grown up before I knew it.
You might be much maturer than I am.
We share the same sense of humor.
I want to laugh together longer.
I wish I could stay alive longer.

The time flowed easily this Saturday.
The shower 5 meter away
Is as far as I could go to.
I live on a dot in the vast universe.
A dot this Saturday also is.

Poem by Maria Franki

edited and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011