Then and Now

April 1st

Recently I don't sleep very well
Because of the new schedule
I need to adjust myself to.

Ms. Moriwaki came to assist
A shower
I can't take by myself anymore.
Held and placed on a shower chair.
Yet I can wash my hair by myself,
Enveloped with the scent of strawberry.

Tootsie and the camera man came
And Mari came.

A fusion of Mari's skill and my taste.
Teased hair
trussed and held with wax in a wild style.
Little by little
Who I was before the illness reemerges.

A tight mini skirt and high heels
If I put on and walked,
I would be who I was.
To walk around Azabu Juban
Was just a dream.

I visited the office first time in a while.
I hugged Sam and Lora.
I went to my desk
The vestige of Me
Was still visible on my desk.

It was Ryan's last day.
The entire staff came together.
Wonderful faces, smiles, the wonderful office.

I have lost my voice to the illness,
Which makes me silent.
What I am now is who I am.
The time of departure is coming.

The illness makes me feel lonely all the time.
Am I defeated?

Love
Is enough for me
To live for.
I fear not even death
If I have love.

About this time last year
We enjoyed dating all the time.
Yokohama, Kamakura, Nagoya, and Osaka
I could go anywhere
On my feet, on your feet
Always together.

I would like to view cherry blossoms, to take my time to admire them.
Petals falling from the tree, without words,
Silently, I want to watch.

Kawazu cherry blossoms
In deep pink
In full heavy bloom.
We walked to find the one you loved.
It was the beginning of our last year.

Kinmedai fish
We got on the bullet train to taste fresh kinmedai
And I've learned the delights of eating fish.
I've learned the delights of happiness.

Past 9 o'clock
To the ramen noodle shop in the neighborhood
Went out with K.P.
Sake and chilled sliced tomatoes for K.P.
Ramen noodle for Maria.

I promised to be good.
The promise is to keep,
Not to cry wolf.

As my life does not allow do-over
My promise does not allow do-over.
I live on the edge.

The last lover.
I will not find another love
At the eleventh hour.

poem by Maria Franki

edited and translated by J.Ujiie

©2011