Reminiscences of Tomorrow

With the first bite of lunch
I felt something went wrong.
Warning sign of an asthma attack.


I knew
It
Without doubt.


Sudden onset of
A wet cough
Violent and persistent
I can’t breath
Either in or out.


Fear. I’m dying
Now.


Superhero
S.O.S.


Hoping she was
Still in her office.
I rang up Inago.


When Inago arrived,
The worst of the asthma attack was over.


Stable phase and bout of attacks
Alternate
Repeatedly.
The most dangerous state.


Dr. Okabe advised,
“You need to be admitted. Call an ambulance.”
It would have been
My first ambulance ride.


Getting ready to be admitted
This and that
I called
Naoko


Toranomon Hospital
Authorized
The admittance.


Never-the-less
Attending physician
Dr. Uesaka called.


“How are you feeling now?” he asked.
“The worst was over,” I said.
“Under control, isn’t it?”he said.
“Yes I can talk,” I said.


“Then, No need to be hospitalized,” he said.
“But, I’m ready to go,” I said.
“Since It’s stabilized,” he said,
“you don’t need to be hospitalized.”


I felt tricked
Of course it’s better to avoid hospitalization
But I was really suffering.


Everybody says
“When asked, you should have said you were suffocating.”
That is how the worldly do.


Dr. Okabe made a house call with medications.
I appreciate
your encouragement.


“I’m sorry,” I said,
“I should have said that I was suffocating.”
“It’s O.K. The honesty is, “ he continued,
“what makes you who you are.”


I admire you all the more.
I know I am not honest at all.


…As such I am not in hospital.
It is a good news for now, isn’t it?


Naoko and
Inago
Left in silence.


I received an e-mail from Naoko
Its subject line reads “life.”


“I am happy that you are alive and I am thankful.”
“You are an important part of my life.”
Nobody has ever said such words to me, even a boyfriend.


How can I live life to the fullest?
I’m still in the process of trial and error in this condition.
Live a forward looking life
Tomorrow is another day to live.


Thanks for your mail, Norippe.
I will never forget the memorable trip we made.
Come and see me
Let’s make another memory together
Reminiscences of tomorrow.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie