Rain Destined

April 23rd


Woke up to “Good morning.”
Still only half awake
Rocked back and forth gently in a wheelchair
I am on the bathroom trip, a morning ritual.


The rain meets my ear
Like the sound of fate.


Over the forest
Over the hill it travels and
Converges in the ocean, evaporates in the air
Blown by the winds, it rains
Someday somewhere.


I wonder where it has traveled,
The rain destined to meet me
Here and now.


“Yikes, I haven’t yet got cured this morning.”
Awaken from the nightmare,
I go to work.
I pictured to myself any number of times
Not once or twice.


Unexpected
Fate of mine
To encounter one in one hundred thousand
I landed where my fate was.


My unexpected life
Has a support team.


Dr. Okabe on house call.
I asked about Non Invasive Ventilation
To assist breathing.


Explained, I searched the internet.
It was a mask I was told and I imagined
A white medical face mask.
It was quite different,
As different as an elephant and a mouse,
Quite heavy duty and wouldn’t agree with my makeup.


I don’t want to wear
Honestly speaking.


Breathing is getting challenging
My breath is shallow
I can’t speak loudly.


Between two options
I’m torn.


The day will come when I will not be able to breathe
Expecting the unexpected life,
Opt for or out mechanical ventilation.




I will opt out, I think.
Without breathing I would last only for 3 minutes.
God, please, I want to go without suffering.


Dr. Okabe’s sense of optimism is infectious
And I see the glass half full.
While trunk onset
Face and chest muscles are intact (so far so good)


Encouraging and inspiring
Dr. Okabe is.
My spirit is uplifted.


I can talk
I can eat
I can think about important things.


I can type with the right hand.


Beautiful music
Gorgeous flowers
I want to feel more.


Sis Kyoko
Left.
My upbeat sister
My favorite.


Sis Kyoko says,
“I am glad I could laugh with you.”
Me too, Sis Kyoko.


I want to live to laugh more and yet more.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J.Ujiie

copyright 2011