Before I Know It

 March 23rd

I am shrinking
It appears no different today from yesterday.
I am smaller than I was one month ago.
I am much smaller than I was two month ago.
Before I know it.

9 o'clock in the morning.
Naoko ma and Maho came
Long time not see
Less than a week feels like a long time.

She placed my emaciated body in the wheelchair.
The deadweight of my light body.
My left foot has been lost,
Drooping like a dead snake.
My right foot is on the verge of death.

We chatted for a while.
I wish I could go to work with them.
I wish I could talk on extension line.
"Maho, you've got a call."
The office I've worked for 10 years is
Still fresh, very fresh to me.

Ms. Moriwaki worked for an hour.
Kitchen sink is spic and span.

I lay on the home care bed
Deserted.
I feel a little lonely.
It might be during such time when my body shrinks,
Shaken with earthquakes.

3:30
Mari came
To prepare for the NY trip.
Passport
Hotel
Flight
We discussed

All is up to my condition.
Will the small body be able to carry my weight?
I have to eat not to lose body mass.
Nutrition for my heart, nutrition for my body.

Subaru Care Center service representative came.
I retained the service for early morning and night house calls
It would ameliorate the bathroom situation.
Still 8 hours of holding time.

KP came
with a bottled water and sake.
Dependable, your mere presence is enough
We get along so well and that's why we quarrel, that was the old saying.

We will drink your sake at the next girls get together.

The home helper, Ms Ando, prepared dinner for me.
Chicken wings Norrippe had brought.
Macaroni Salad Maho brought
Ginger Tea sweetened with honey and oligosaccharide.
I am helped to be alive.

Before I know it, the time has come to say goodbye.
Before I know it, my heart has been thrown off balance.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edied and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011