Clearing Out

March 5th

I can't wash my face standing anymore.
So I wash my face while taking a shower sitting in the tub
To be safe and not to fall.
My routine is ever changing.
I appear normal; while my muscles crumbling.
Please cast a spell on me to be well.

13:00 Kochi came.  We had a lunch together.
Kochi cleaned the fridge for me.
She is tall and can reach up high.
She can work with brisk efficiency.
I‘m jealous.

15:00 Misato came
Holding a baby she is a real mother.
She let me hold her baby.
With the baby's weight heavy against my body
I smelled a scent of life, a scent of life to be.

The baby left in the arms of papa.

16:15 Mari came.
Girls talk.
Misato gave me a foot massage.
It felt very good.  Thank you.

18:30 Kochi and I alone.
"Do you want to start?"
"Now?"
"Yes."
As such, my project began.

Probably ... for not so long I can live here;  this life,  not so long.
Probably ... my extremities will stop working soon.
My body is heavy so heavy.  I can't walk.
My thin so thin muscles are crying out for help.
Begging me for help, crying.

It is time to clear out my belongings
To sort out my life.
I don't need most of the things, since I can't take them where I am going.
Only the memories will remain in me, in quiet brightness, I won't forget.

Kochi, I ask you to help me.
I will surely hold onto this and hold onto that with lingering attachment.
I ask you to push my back, saying"you don't need this and you don't need that."
The art of detachment
Clear off, clear out, and clear away.

With Emptying the drawers, my farewell begins.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011