Memorial Day of the Life to Live Alone

March 18th

The bed I bought last July.

I bounced, lay and sat on it to decide to buy.

The bed I fell in love with.

I thought I would use it for the next 10 years.

Nevertheless

I have to say goodbye today.  I have to let go of it today.

I am sorry. I couldn't use you for a long time.

My new bed is a rental one.

An electric home care bed.

Narrower than a full size bed with

Head and foot adjustment would make it

Easier to sit up.

It would make it easier...but

I wish I could be on a regular bed.

On a regular bed, with a normal body, living an ordinary life.

I stretch legs and arms, then open the curtain wide with one hand.

I make a coffee.

I pour aromatic coffee for my beloved.

I haven't forgotten ... how it feels ... but ... I will never have ... such a morning.

Naoko Ma came in the morning

Despite the radiation scare

To assist me to use the bathroom.

I have become a person of assisted living.

I was born to the fate to walk unaided.

I am searching for the way to live single-handedly.

Poem by Maria Franki

On this day, the local government caseworkers in charge of disability benefits and the representative of the home care provider came to assess her needs.  Maria's life involves three kind of social welfare system, one for home nursing care, one for disability, and one for intractable illnesses.  With all the application procedures not much different, it gets confusing.

People came and went.  The one from the rental bed company, the representative of the home care provider, the caseworker, Naoko ma, another colleague of hers, Ms. Grasshopper.  Maria writes, "They came to my apartment and they are creating a network."

KP came, again.

And Here comes Norippe from Nagoya

With a large backpack full of food.

Huge quantity she brought.

It must have been heavy.

Noriko ma is tough.

She lifts me up amd carries me to the bed, places me in the wheelchair.

She has learned a lot from her own experiences.

I can learn a lot from her on my third day of immobility.

Thank you, KP.

You gave me a massage,

While repeating, "I'm tired,"

You wouldn't stop until I say "It's enough."

You are kind deep in your heart.  I know.

The day I would say "Goodbye,"  I hope it will not come.

Poem by Maria Franki

Edited and translated by J. Ujiie

©2011